I was running with another mom the other morning and we got to talking about our day-to-day lives but more importantly how hard life can be when a spouse is gone for an extended period of time. A few times now I’ve told her to reach out and ask for help, that I would be willing to bring a meal or watch her kids for a an hour or so in hopes of visiting the grocery store alone. She brushed it off and then admitted that it’s hard to ask for help. I totally agree!!
The other day she was at a park with some other mom friends and they were all enjoying the freedom you get when all your kids aren’t eating woodchips and can climb up the slide stairs themselves. But my friend noticed another mother struggling with a few kids at hand, tantrums, woodchips, crying… we’ve ALL been there. She offered to lend a hand and asked if she wanted to join their “group.” The struggling mom said YES. Yes! She acknowledged that it was a bad day and took some assistance.
We have all failed on the parenting scale at one time or another. None of us are perfect! What’s hard is that social medial and the collective world tell us that we should be perfect parents. PBJ on gluten free bread, no corn syrup or processed sugars, white couches, spotless floors, color coordinated baskets for each type of toy and child…the list goes on. Well guess what, that life you admire on Instagram, it’s F-A-K-E. Have you ever seen the “big” photo of the stylized photo? That ought to make you feel better. Not a single one of us has our shit together and you don’t have to either.
The next time you feel you are failing the entire day, pick up your phone and ask for help. This is where a stellar network of mom friends comes in. Don’t have any? It’s time to make some! Mom friends are the glue of the world, they help hold you and your shit together. I know I can count on my friends to jump in at a second’s notice if I desperately need something. Asking for help isn’t easy, I can admit that, but it’s gotten easier over the years.
Ever hear the term it takes a village? Of course you have. You’ve heard it because it’s true. Long ago it DID take a village to raise a family and children. Just because we live in single-family homes does not mean we have to do it alone!
- Don’t forget to ASK for help. Just do it, you’ll feel so much better. Most mothers have been in your shoes and are more than willing to help out in any way.
- Offer to help whenever you can. If you see somebody struggling with even a minor task or notice that a person in your community is having a shitty day (thanks social media), just reach out and ask if you can help. Or even ask how they are doing.
We are in this together. It takes a village.