Mommies, it’s ok to ask for help.

I was running with another mom the other morning and we got to talking about our day-to-day lives but more importantly how hard life can be when a spouse is gone for an extended period of time. A few times now I’ve told her to reach out and ask for help, that I would be willing to bring a meal or watch her kids for a an hour or so in hopes of visiting the grocery store alone. She brushed it off and then admitted that it’s hard to ask for help. I totally agree!!

The other day she was at a park with some other mom friends and they were all enjoying the freedom you get when all your kids aren’t eating woodchips and can climb up the slide stairs themselves. But my friend noticed another mother struggling with a few kids at hand, tantrums, woodchips, crying… we’ve ALL been there. She offered to lend a hand and asked if she wanted to join their “group.” The struggling mom said YES. Yes! She acknowledged that it was a bad day and took some assistance.

people-2567915_1280We have all failed on the parenting scale at one time or another. None of us are perfect! What’s hard is that social medial and the collective world tell us that we should be perfect parents. PBJ on gluten free bread, no corn syrup or processed sugars, white couches, spotless floors, color coordinated baskets for each type of toy and child…the list goes on. Well guess what, that life you admire on Instagram, it’s F-A-K-E. Have you ever seen the “big” photo of the stylized photo? That ought to make you feel better. Not a single one of us has our shit together and you don’t have to either.

The next time you feel you are failing the entire day, pick up your phone and ask for help. This is where a stellar network of mom friends comes in. Don’t have any? It’s time to make some! Mom friends are the glue of the world, they help hold you and your shit together. I know I can count on my friends to jump in at a second’s notice if I desperately need something. Asking for help isn’t easy, I can admit that, but it’s gotten easier over the years.

Ever hear the term it takes a village? Of course you have. You’ve heard it because it’s true. Long ago it DID take a village to raise a family and children. Just because we live in single-family homes does not mean we have to do it alone!

Two takeaways:

  1. Don’t forget to ASK for help. Just do it, you’ll feel so much better. Most mothers have been in your shoes and are more than willing to help out in any way.
  2. Offer to help whenever you can. If you see somebody struggling with even a minor task or notice that a person in your community is having a shitty day (thanks social media), just reach out and ask if you can help. Or even ask how they are doing.

We are in this together. It takes a village.

School Year Has Begun

It’s already half-way through September, wow! The girls are all in school and love every minute of it. They have been pretty tired near week’s end and I keep trying to put a little earlier bedtime. We have a third grader, first grader, and 4K preschooler, and a baby at home… Tilli.

I’ll start with the baby. Tilli is 12 weeks old and 14 pounds. She’s sleeping through the night and is overall a wonderful puppy. She’s starting to explore the yard a bit more and venture out. I’ve come to realize she will dig to China if I let her. We’ve never had a dog that dug like this before so I’ll have to put a stop to it somehow. She continues to do private training 2x/week and does very well with Suzette.

Elsa is in 4K and has the most amazing teacher. She has lots of friends in school and is adjusting to sharing, sitting quietly, listening, etc. Her afternoons are still spent with me (or a friend), and she has a gymnastics class once/week with a friend. Our afternoons are spent chasing Tilli around and making sure she doesn’t eat shoes or pee in the house.

Gretchen is in 1st grade and is having a blast. I know she’ll learn so much this year and grow a lot too. She is doing gymnastics and just joined a pre-competitive swim team. She got out of the water last night and said it was the BEST day ever (having swam for the last 45 minutes). I always knew she was the water baby and would thrive in the pool. I really think this is going to be good therapy and a good sport for  her.

Charlotte is in 3rd grade and has had a hard time adjusting to the responsibilities that come with the grade. Slowly I am helping her to be a lot more responsible. She still plays piano once per week, it’s wonderful to listen to her music. She is also a giraffe in our school’s first musical, Lion King Jr. The concert is going to be amazing, I’ve already had teary eyes during practice.